forgive me Allah, for I am weak :(

In the name of Allah the most gracious, the most merciful.

Allah praise be Allah, peace and blessings be upon Muhammad Sallahualaihi wasallam, his family and his companions.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Something is bugging me really bad. I could have done better to not allow this to happen, but ....

It is indeed something I am very disappointed about. Allahu rabbi, it isn't something I would want to happen, I tried to say something, I did, but it just was't good enough. :(

The Prophet said: If one of you sees something evil he should change it with his hand. If he cannot, he should speak out against it, and if he cannot do even that he should at least " detest " it in his heart, this being the weakest form of faith .(Sahih of Muslim).

I do not have anyone to say this but only to Allah. He listens and others don't.

Allah, I am so weak. I can't even do what you have asked me to do. To enjoin goodness and forbid mungkars. I am sorry for I have allowed my sister, my dear friend to go in the path of shaitaan. Allahu Rabbi, I cried in front of you tonight, witness my tears fall down my face when I say I have done nothing to stop my sister, someone I dearly love into the path of shaitaan.

:( :( :(

Sometimes I wish that things are easier. I know this is only one of the tests that Allah had planned to make me stronger in faith.

Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tested? 29:2

Allahu Rabbi, grant me strength to always be able to persevere. Give me the power to stay strong and always clear my eyes to differentiate between the good and the mungkars.

So patiently persevere: for everily the promise of Allah is true: nor let those shake your firmness, who have themselves no certainty of faith.30:60

I'm keeping Your words, my Lord. :'(

Mawlid and Hadith by Bukhari

In the name of Allah the most gracious, the merciful.

Peace and blessings be upon Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasaaalam, his family and his companions.

The Mawlid celebration was held today at the college. Alhamdulillah, after so many years of not having one, it felt good to be in one. In my 22 years of living, It thought that I've always knew Muhammad SAW. Of course I would, since I've been exposed to seerah since I was 7. So young.

But only recently that i reflected and realised that there's nothing much about Him that I know. Surely I know the birth date and what nots, but isn't through knowing, one should be able to fall in love? I mean, what's not to love about Him?

He was a shy, reticent man who lived among his people with such high moral character they called him al-Amîn — the Trustworthy. He was decisieve and whole-hearted in everything He did, so intent on the task at hand that He never looked over His shoulder even if His cloak got caught in a thorny bush. And there are just some of the stories we've heard about Muhammad.


I was really stoned (recently) when I read a hadith  reported by Bukhari,


"None of you believes, until you love me more than you love yourselves".


It's not that it was my first time hearing such hadith, in fact I've known about this since forever, but it has never affected me as a practitioner of Islam. Just recently that I've had this guilt towards my own self, for being self-fish and big head because of this hadith.

You see, from this hadith, we can clearly see, how it is one of the signs of the level of imaan that a person has, if he/she is affected or not by the hadith. Although it is a little late, I still would like to express my syukr towards Allah for giving me the opportunity to feel guilty for not having such feeling before. At least now I am able to work on  myself and improve my relationship with the beloved prophet.

Truly, Muhammad is the best of man and that He is the best in the things He had done for His ummah.

Ya Rasulallah, Ya Sayyidi, may peace and blessings always be with you. I longed and missed your presence. I'm grateful to you, Ya Habibi. Ya Mustofa, thank you for sacrifice, and thank you for making our lives, the ummah of the end of times, easier, for only through your effort that we, are able to live our lives now. Allahu rabbi, please forgive our sins and those before us, and let our beloved prophet have it His way in helping us through our life. InshAllah, if it's meant to be, the jannah shall be our meeting. InshAllah amiin ;)