Diverged Road

In the name of Allah.

I have two roads in front of me. Well actually a three, but I, at the very beginning had neglected the third one as I could see from where I stand the thorns and bushes that would make my journey a little more difficult.

I'm torn. One of the two roads, I could see how if I take that road, my destination is quite clear. I can see the buildings and cars at the end of the road. At the end of the road, I will be able to smell the flowers that I can see from here. The last road, is a long one. One I am unable to see the end.

Three roads diverged; I have yet to choose one. I really wanted to choose one in this short time, but is it going to be too rushed? O Allah.

The dawn of 1st Muharram 1434H

In the name of Allah the most gracious the most merciful.

Today marks he first day of the 1434H year and I woke up to the worst news ever; Gaza was under attack while I was fast asleep last night. Allahu Allah, I felt really sick and cannot stop myself from feeling like a jerk as my brothers and sisters over there were fighting for their life, while I was under a deep sleep on my comfortable bed, in my own room.

Allah Allah Allah.

I am, as I am writing this sentence, feeling helpless. Unable to do nothing except hating the Isaraelis and praying and giving du'as to the Muslims there. Suffocating, as I imagine myself being there, with the screams of terror of the woman and children of Palestine.

Allah Allah Allahu Akbar.

May Allah restore the land of Palestine to its rightful owner. May Allah grant the people of Palestine strength and the ability to stay strong.

On the eve of 1st Muharram 1434H

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pengasih dan Maha Penyayang.

Selawat dan salam kepada nabi junjungan Muhammad sallahualaihiwasallam, keluarga dan para sahabat baginda. Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah!

Maghrib ini akan masuk tahun baharu, bulan Muharram 1434 Hijarah. Selaku hamba yang sungguh banyak kelemahan dan dosa ini, saya ambil peluang untuk mengakhiri tahun ini dengan memohon maaf jika ada salah dan silap, kalau ada terlebih dan terkurang samada dari segi makanan, harga dan ukhuwwah. Sungguh sebagai manusia biasa, saya selalu terbawa-bawa dengan nafsu dan perasaan.

I truly thank Allah for the chance that Allah has given me (InshAllah in a few minutes) to step into this New Hijri year. It feels like it was just yesterday I recited the du'as for the end of 1432H year and the new year 1433H. Alahmdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah!

Today is the first day since I returned from Kuching yesterday. It has been a challenging trip home, but praise  Allah, I am able to write this post, in my room, in Ampang.

I cannot believe that I have completed my first degree. Truly it has been a challenging 5 and a half years staying away from my family and being able to stay home, for whoknows how long, it is a true blessing. (cause people have been saying that those graduating this year will only get posted in April). I have plans that  I really want to follow with, of course with Allah's will.

Dua tiga minggu ni saya rasa easily distracted. Allah, mungkin sebab saya sendiri asyik sibuk tak sempat nak ikut program dengan akhwat lain. Terasa sangat menyesal sebab tak persiapkan diri betul-betul sebelum balik ke kampung halaman. Sekarang bila dah ada ditempat sendiri, saya rasa sangat teruji sebab sangat selesa beraada dirumah. Bahaya sungguh ni, sebab saya sendiri rasa kalau lebih lama macam ni, lagi malaslah nak keluar rumah, lagi lemau nak mencari jalan tarbiyah untuk diri. InshAllah akan terus tsabat nak cari kumpulan-kumpulan akhwat yang boleh jadi penyokong saya di kota Kuala Lumpur ni.

Doakan luangan masa yang saya ada ni takkan di habiskan untuk perkara yang sia-sia. Sungguh hanya Allah saja yang tahu berapa tahun lagi saya berada di bumiNya ini. 

Quoting APG,

"Berjaga-jaga dgn masa lapangmu. Ia membuka luas kepada pintu kefuturan. Dan aku sudah merasa betapa payahnya utk menutup pintu itu kembali"

Practicum 2012

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah! Praise be to Allah and peace and blessings be upon Muhammad, the final messenger of Allah, His family and His companion.

Alhamdulillah 'ala kullihal. All praises be to Allah for only through His mercy that I am able to finish my degree after a long, and full of challenges 5 and a half years of studying. Having to study far away from family made things worst, but then again, thanks to Allah, I am able to do my family proud by, inshAllah, holding the Universiy of Otago's Bachelor of Education's scroll.

Time definitely flies when it is filled with meaningful chores and events. I have been busy for the past few months which made it impossible to practice some writing here. I was out on practicum ( if you guys do not what that is, well it's actually a 3-months periods where student teachers go out to school to taste the real flavour of teaching) and I was posted to a dual-medium school. What this actually means is that, the school that I was at, has two mediums, which are Bahasa Melayu and Mandarin. It was indeed a really good experience.

In the beginning, I was a little bit anxious about the challenges that I would face when I start teaching. Language barrier, communication issues. But I realised that I should not look at the problems and worry myself too much. A lecturer once told me that, if you focus on the negative things, you are the one who's going to attract all the negative energy and the unwanted things. So yeah, with God's will, I managed.

Practicum has made me really realised that the responsibility that a teacher carries on her shoulder.A teacher not only teach, but also cares and shapes the lives of children of the nation. This sentence sounds too-good but how do we shape the lives of these young, naive minds? A lecturer ( the same as above) once told me that a teacher always have one feet in the heaven and another in hell. It depends on how he/she does her work.What strikes me the most is that, the lecturer who gave me that advice is a Chinese. I really like how she was able to relate to the halal-haram concept when talking about honesty in work. Her advice stuck in my head ever since.

I pray that I am able to be one of those who are able to be truthful to my profession as a teacher. I hope to have a lasting conscience about my responsibility and give my best to my future students, InshAllah.